In the marketing game, there’s a long tradition of industrial espionage. Unveiling your competitors’ new model car before it’s officially launched. Stealing the chemical composition of the latest hair restoration therapy before Shane Warne’s had a chance to use it. And, of course, obtaining that furtive snap of the new season’s fashion item.

And, readers, we have that snap. The image is in our possession. We have it before You Tube. Before Kevin Rudd has announced it (in Mandarin). Before Johnny Howard has had a chance to intervene in it. But the exposé does not come without an attendant difficulty.

If I can put it plainly, the critical problem that ubermodel Dick Arnold has is this. Now the new vogue has been so cruelly revealed on a global basis going forward at this point in time, everyone will want it, they will want it NOW and they will want Dick to showcase it. No one else will do. He’s the man. We want him to strut his stuff.

I fear the organisers have bitten off far more than they can masticate with this one.