Farewell to Fitzie, PNG media giant
Captains, my captains, my heroes...

Reunion's conversational glimpses

Bill Welbourne

The conversation turned to cats … the love of their lives. Val [Rivers] recently inherited two 20 year olds - that’s about 140 years old in human terms - both on their last legs if they could stand up straight. To keep them comfortable while she was at the reunion, Val had an automatic heater set up to protect them from the desert cold of Burra. She also had a series of plastic bags ready for a daily inspection by a kind neighbour. One was for food, another for kitty litter and there were two larger bags should mortality occur to ease the shock and pain of the good neighbour. Just slip them into the bags and let the garbo attend to in their final dispatch.

During Val’s interview for ASOPA she was asked, “And what do you think of ‘self-determination’?” She retorted, “Oh, I’m a very self-determined woman. I never give up.”

Val told us of her wedding mishap. She went ‘South’ to select a fashionable gown and accompanied the precious cargo back to Lae. Val, a devout Catholic, struck up a conversation with a fellow traveller - a nun - who had an identical port. Guess who got the habit and who had the wedding dress? The nun was tracked down in Wewak. But the gown, now stored among Val’s prized collection of period costumes in Burra, arrived the day after the wedding.

[Bill’s full article will be in the November issue of ‘The Mail’]

Comments

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Bill Welbourne

What an opportunity you missed, Richard! Just 'reflect' for a moment ... with all those popping flashlights reflecting off your 'solar panel cranium' you could have stolen the evening with the opening showstopping laser-light spectacular ... BUT you forgot to throw away the umbrella!

Dick Arnold

Four reasons for the Geisha Girl's umbrella, Bill. [1] The kimono was much too tight; [2] the Sandals were three sizes too small.; [3] the black wig kept slipping off and, therefore, [4] the umbrella helped to reduce the flashlight reflections from my solar panel cranium!

Bill Welbourne

The real reason, Dick. After sniff-balling around France with my Pommy mate, who hadn't changed his shirt for three or four days, I welcomed the chance to enjoy some female Asopian company at the reunion. Oh! By the way. You walked on stage spinning a Geisha Girl's umbrella. Can you explain what motivated you to use this teaching aid?

Dick Arnold

'Tis indeed sad and distressing to read that one of ASOPA's greatest athletes, Bill Welbourne, has been so traumatized during his recent trip to gay Paris by the demise of the "Wobblies" during the "Sniff (Bodmanese) World Cup" that he has become obsessed with Ms Rivers-Grainger's felines and frocks! (You will be relieved to note that I refuse to be drawn on the issue of "bad habits"!)

Alternatively, it has been suggested that our William has slipped in the shower and suffered concussion, resulting in the improbable fabrication of the formula in the ultimate paragraph above.

My personal diagnosis: Bill is suffering from a mutant form of EI known as "Rindacella". The treatment for this new virus strain is to empty a bottle of Glenfiddich into a hollowed-out pumpkin and inhale - only after midnight!

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