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Four poems by Hinelou Nini Costigan

Entries in The Crocodile Prize

Fear rules the roost

I'm afraid of gentle whispers
Afraid of soothing hugs
Afraid of genuine kisses
And looks of yearning love
I can't explain my fear
Only that it oppresses all
And I’m scared that if I drop
You won't catch me as I fall
Afraid I am of so many things, things I can't explain
Only that I woke one day
And felt fear derived from pain
I'm sorry that it’s made me
And stuffed up with my mind
And I’m sorry that I don't have guts
To walk the dotted line!


Where do my idols
Lead me when I bow to them unquestioning?
Where does my mind or thoughts enter when God is yelling at me, deafening!
How can I easily yield
When I have noting more to gain
And ignore God who always remains
How can I love my idols
Who hurt me galore
And turn back to God
To plead and implore
How I am still worthy, I am unsure
But the compassionate one
The mighty one
Always remains
And yet I run to my Idols
When I have nothing more to gain!

Road block

Our paths may cross at different times
Thus the separation
Of our minds
I think this caused the break in demeanor
Although mutual
It’s not as cleaner
You’ll learn you lesson in another way
And I’ll only have remorse
Same shit, different day!

The dark side of my moon

A broken wing never heals
And truth and lies break iron seals
Then pride steps in to bind the soul
And only hate surmounts
It’s the only goal.

 Hinelou Nini Costigan (30) was born in Wewak in the East Sepik Province of mixed Australian and Manus parentage and grew up in Lae.  She currently works in Australia but returns home as often as possible.  She is from a large family which has produced a number of successful women and aspires to emulate them.


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Simone Clarkson

Beautiful words my sister. Love Mos

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