Before the lights go out! Reflections on PNG & life
Reverse this pernicious, disrespectful asylum deal

A modest proposal to solve all our problems….

Peter and bilasPETER KRANZ

THE BRISBANE COURIER-MAIL RECENTLY splashed a story and a triumphal photo of Campbell Newman and Tony Abbott with the provocative headline, ‘Campbell Newman predicts wave of asylum seekers escaping PNG across Torres Strait to Queensland’.

Newman claimed PNG would become a hopping-off point for asylum seekers seeking to gain entry to Australia.

"The Torres Strait is a porous border right now," Mr Newman said. "It's only 4km from PNG on to the soil of Queensland. You can go from PNG into Queensland across the Strait in a row-boat."

We've heard this before. The yellow peril, the black invasion, the need for a white Australia because the ‘Kanakas’ are taking our jobs.

What a worn-out old record. And look at Newman’s emotive language: 'porous border'; 'the soil of Queensland' (sacred ground), 'a row-boat'.

I imagine an Aboriginal elder looking at the first fleet and saying the same things, but with justification.

And Queensland Health Minister Laurence Springborg made it worse. He pulled out the TB card.

"Mr Springborg says others could be using the same route.

"It's a canoe ride, and then it's two air tickets and a taxi ride to western Sydney," Springborg said.

"If we can't keep our borders secure against people from Papua New Guinea, then how can we keep illegal people smugglers from using that as a very, very easy conduit to the Australian mainland?"

So one Syrian man with suspected TB was identified to illustrate the claim that Australia is being invaded by infected “hordes”.

Hordes which are heading to western Sydney? The good people of Penrith must be quaking in their boots.

Give me a break.

The Queensland Hystericals went so far as to suggest the Torres Strait Treaty should be cancelled. It has been operating successfully for around 30 years.

Those pesky Papua New Guineans - trying to sneak across our porous border to seek treatment for TB…. how dare they!

Send them back to their own country, out of our sight and away from our health budgets.

I seem to remember a Rev Dean Swift advocating in A Modest Proposal that the Irish problem could be solved if the Irish were encouraged to eat their babies.

Of course he was a satirist and a humanitarian.

May I suggest that the Papuan New Guineans revert to cannibalism and eat the asylum seekers?

That would solve the problem. Rudd and Abbott would be happy, and could maybe allocate funds to a new AusAID project - Noken Kaikai Man na Meri.


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Peter Kranz

Deep in the archives of the British Library there is an as yet unpublished libretto by one Mr WS Gilbert Esq, which I think is apt.

Poor wand'ring one!
Though thou hast surely strayed,
There's here no place,
Thy steps retrace,
Poor wand'ring one!

Poor wand'ring one!
If PNG detention as mine
Can help thee find
True peace of mind-
Why, take it, it is thine!

Take heart, no danger low'rs;
Take any shore but ours!

Take heart, fair days will shine;
Take any heart -- take mine!

Take heart; no danger low'rs;
Take any heart -- but ours!

Poor wand'ring one! Poor wand'ring one!
'Stralia's not for thee
Ah, ah! Ah, ah, ah!
PNG will shine, Make land,
Make land, Make land,
Take Manus! Take any land
Take any land! but ours!

You've got to hear the music to appreciate it.

Here's a pretty good version (but they seem to have the lyrics a bit wrong!)

And yes, G&S are alive and kicking in Port Moresby.

Peter Kranz

A Modest Proposal is a terrifying masterpiece.

Read it here -

”I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled ...”

As WC Fields famously quipped, "I like children. If they're properly cooked.”

David Kitchnoge

Indeed Ludy. Their money bag is costing us our dignity.

And this is not the first time they've done this to us unprovoked.

I remember a few years back when our Kumuls went down to play their Kangaroos and they splashed our boys in the pages of one of their papers don't there with the title "Pauper New Guine".

Again totally unprovoked, and I have had to protest to my wantok Paul Oates who protested to the press regulators down there.

Their response to our protests was akin to brushing an annoying fly off your face.

Ludmilla Salonda

Great, we the Papua New Guineans are being made to become Australia's greatest nightmare!

My colleagues and I are amused, yet not surprised at the depth of ignorance many Australians have of Papua New Guinea and its people.

Waiting for the day, we can tell Australia to take its money bags and go back where they came from. It costing us our dignity.

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