Like all expectant and excited parents, we often argued over the phone over the sex of our child. ‘I want a boy,’ I would say. But Delphine, who was teaching her first year of teaching at Nakorei Primary School, would confidently conclude, ‘She is a girl.’

But then I was not so concerned with the sex and name debate for all I was engrossed in was that I was a father; a father from Panguna to a child with a mother from Buin. Then she was born at Piano Health Centre in Buin and my heart was all joy for I now had something to be proud and work for—a child.

I was now a father but since late 2013 I was engaged by Delphine’s relatives in conflict for I was not their choice for her marriage.

In October 2014 after the closure of the academic year at Divine Word University I left with joy for Bougainville to see and hold my daughter. But could not march onto Buin for I was not that welcomed in their midst.

More on, upon arriving in Buka I was immediately contracted by the ABG in the Office of the Chief Secretary of ABG thus I was now locked in Buka.

So my daughter—by then 5 months old—made her maiden travel to Buka to see me in December 2014 after her mother’s school made their closing of the academic year.

At Kokopau Town in Buka I searched the crowded car park for a few minutes before my eyes settled on her. She was so humble and shy as I laid my hands on her and took her from her mother. She did not hesitate for we were connected by love in spirit.

Her facial features was me; the colour of her skin was me; if not me, she was my reincarnation. She was with me all through the 2014-2015 festive season in Buka Town where I began my bed time culture of watching her sleep to soothe myself to sleep in the middle of the night.

It was this break that she showed me she had a medical problem of vomiting without any noticeable illness as far as the Bougainville health standards could tell. All they told us at Buka District Hospital, was that she had no problem and we walked home happily regularly.

When the Christmas break was over I proudly watch her leave for Kanauro Primary School in Buin at Kokopau Town where her mother was posted to teach in 2015. It was a nightmare to me. Thus, after two weeks of chatting with her prattles over the phone, I was in Buin.

Since then for one weekend every fortnight, the sun saw me in Buin’s Kanauro Primary School with my daughter every morning. We grew so close to each other that she only went to her mother for breast feeding and sleep.

My leaving for Buka on Mondays for work also began a heartbreak for my daughter. She would cry repeatedly uttering ‘papa, papa’ to her mother’s discomfort pointing her little fingers at the direction I may have left. They would call me on the phone and she then becomes overjoyed and blathers endlessly though slowly building her vocabulary.

This made me suffer thus I also began to abuse my official commitment to ABG by spending much time in Buin with my baby. Thus when my contract with the ABG ended on the 30 June 2015 I was eager to go home but the newest referendum office then under Chris Siriosi held me back.

But in mid-July 2015 ABG’s in-house politicking made me to depart once and for all to be with my daughter and my partner and taste for myself what parenting is all about.

There I watched as her vomiting became regular. We brought her to Piano Health Centre or Buin District Hospital and all we got was a single dose of anti-vomiting drugs because, according to the health workers, she had no serious illness that should be the primary cause of the vomiting and that could be life threatening.

Then on the 12 September 2015 I left her at Kanauro Primary School and I set off for Panguna, while she was crying bitterly in the midst of her mother’s angry ranting and refusal to join us in Panguna. I was picked up by my family for a family reconciliation before the retrieval of my father’s remains from Siae Village in the North Nasioi area where he was killed and buried by the Bougainville Revolutionary Army in 1993.

She spent the weekend happily, but began her vomiting again on the 15 September 2015. They rushed her to the Buin District Hospital and back after medication. Then in the middle of the night of 16 September she went worst with vomiting; they took her back and overnighted in hospital into the 17 September.

Finally she had her last breathe at 2 PM on the 17 September while lying down peacefully on her sick bed in the Buin District Hospital as if she was going to sleep with a dose of drip attached to a hand after having her favourite ice cream at a nearby store.