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Tell me now what have I become

ScáthEMILY JAMAIZ HOKO

An entry in the 2016 Crocodile Prize

Tell me now, what have I become, a creature of the dark?
I don’t have my own soul.
I am not my own.
Living on the wasted
Feeding on the remains of the night
A life I call mine
Screams out through the window of my insanity.

Tell me now, what have I become, a creature of the dark?
I cannot sleep.
It has ceased with time.
I remain locked, trapped, a prisoner of my insanity
Robbed from the joys that were once mine.

Tell me now, what have I become, a creature of the dark?
Light the beauty of day
Has faded with the pain that erodes inside me
Awakened only by the sound of my groaning
I’m not going to sleep
I’ll walk this land for you
You will see that I have grown with this emptiness that engulfs me now.
A nauseating feeling
Stronger than the satisfier rips me apart

Tell me now, what have I become, a creature of the dark?
You took the only thing that meant everything to me
You!
Why?
Can I go on questioning myself?
Let me roam this land to find myself
To collect myself from this thing that I’ve become
Don’t question me for what I have become
I’m not doing this for you.
No.
I’m doing this for me.

Tell me now, what have I become, a creature of the dark?
Tell me, now that I have become a creature of the dark
And in this pain I find no reason
A feeling now as pointless as my existence
Rocks me into a state of chaos
Only in this emptiness of oblivion
I am locked, a prisoner of my own insanity
In unison with the night

Tell me now what have I become a creature of the dark
Still in search for meaning
When in I exist in vanity
Ignorance my friend, a companion in loneliness

Brings me into the sands of time
Though we are one we are not
For in misery we roam

Tell me now what have I become a creature of the dark
My being shouts within me,
Wanting to be free
Captures the stillness
And throws me into the depths of hell.

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