There is still a place called home
20 July 2019
RAYMOND KOMIS GIRANA
| An entry in the Crocodile Prize Poetry Award
You have your home, I have my home
Rise up o ye daughters of this land
Our place dates centuries before Rome
The truth unveiled in the mythical garden
You saw the night exiled from dawn
And your mind enlightened from doom
A promise you knew came from your town
with offers to create for you a heavenly room
And just in time in front of our noses
materializes a threat to human freedom
A promise from the proclaimed bosses
A said wisdom from the netizens' kingdom
But we seem to minimize this threat to our freedom
by not seeing the intent to frustrate our abilities
to live the lives we want to live with guided wisdom
and to enjoy the gifts and the blessings from our home
A home that should not become a mountain of burdens
bombarded with wondrous little machines of our time
Our intentions have to be supported with prudence
For we still have a place called home
That which the human eye is blinded to see
and the human heart too thick to feel
That which the human ear is deafened to hear
and the human nose blocked to smell
An analysis by a home scribe is true wisdom
and like our defined home, it is total freedom
with guided wisdom lighting up your night
An endless call to stay out of our light
You have your home, I have my home
Rise up o ye sons of this land
Our place is wiser than chrome
The truth unveiled in the factories
The values of a Melanesian culture we uphold
The new deep mode of distraction is no excuse
Relationship is the source and our human goal
Sharing is the filter to the speed in which they fall
There is still a place called home
Good use of rhyme to compose your quartets Raymond.
I think this may be fine tuned into a villanelle or may fit into a terza rima.
Take a look at the construction of those poems so you can see how useful they may be for easy rhythm, repetition of ideas or an internal refrain.
Villanelle and terza rima forms are not easy. Both may be combined to create very interesting terzanelle.
Knowing how the forms work better informs you on what the techniques may provide to your own creative process, and improves your skills.
Sometimes the structured forms are a useful starting point when sketching out the ideas of a new poem, and you don't necessarily have to stick with the structure to the finish.
Posted by: Michael Dom | 02 December 2019 at 05:46 PM