Breaking the cycle of violence
10 March 2020
HERCULES PALME JIM
PORT MORESBY - It is disgusting to hear 'experts' or so called feminists in Papua New Guiea say that boys who grow up in broken homes, settlements, villages or homes with violence are prone to get involved in crime or violence.
I grew up in the village and the settlements without a father and have observed over the years my aunties and sisters being beaten up by their husbands almost everyday of my life as a child growing up.
As a child, I saw a woman accused of sorcery tortured and burnt alive. I've seen it all!
However, I grew out of it to live a life so my daughter will know what to look for in a man.
I am not perfect but trying my best to be a better man. Yes, I have my weaknesses and failures but physically abusing a woman is something I swore not to do.
My daughter is my strength, my comfort and my honour.
I know boys who also grew up in the same environment that are doing their best to be role models and to be the change.
We have had enough!
So yes, I know you've never been in the village or settlements and you know nothing about violence in this context.
You're privileged, so don't sit up there and judge us.
Don't come and brag as if you know our lives and you know the solutions to our problems with your expensive suit and fancy English.
Not all young men in PNG want to abuse their wives or girlfriends every day.
We’ve had enough of this too.
I've heard this over and over and I am tired, tired of stigma attached to kids from broken homes and settlements. We've lived it and seen it.
We have had enough and are trying our best to be better men.
To all the boys in my shoes; keep fighting, keep believing and keep doing the right thing.
It is easy for people to sit and judge but there will never be better solutions for violence. Violence has been part of the society from different race and generations and it will still be there. To break into societies with beliefs and customs is very difficult because we are dealing with humans and not everyone will response or act the same. It all starts with individuals and how we want to live our lives, if i want violence to continue i let it continue and if i want to let it to end ,i let it end.
I adopted three of my children out from very bad , broken home and the struggle is real everyday trying to teach them to be better and to tell them constantly that they should never accept labels or names from people who think they are perfect or limit themselves but to look for every possibilities the world can offer.
When young people make the stand to be different, it is honourable and i salute them for the fact that it takes a lot of courage and strength to take that stand.
Posted by: Dema Kaylah | 11 March 2020 at 12:00 PM
Coming from a low provenance region in the UK, which was much like the Bumbu compound in Lae, I found this article quite fascinating and also get quite angry with the intellectual cowardice and obedience to the orthodoxy that often masquerades as journalism or academic research.
Indeed the late George Orwell once remarked that...……"the essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection"
"Do what you think is right and let the law catch up" - Justice Thurgood Marshall
Keep up the great work Hercules
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thurgood_Marshall
Posted by: Bernard Corden | 10 March 2020 at 04:05 PM
Before an 'outside world' introduced PNG men to football and other foreign physical sports, folk of PNG were producing exquisite craft in material adornment and keepsake artistry, apart from instruments for warring.
On seeing images of such skill and perseverance, I was won over to stand with peoples past who achieved in this way, and to add my support to peoples present.
Hercules, Australians are not immune to the types of abusiveness that you mention. I see your request to foreigners who exhibit a 'patronizing' stance. How sad that we find the word 'patron' is demeaned by inappropriateness in patronage.
For you and your fellow citizens I can only add my words in encouragement, and today for you, I applaud your courage.
Posted by: Lindsay F Bond | 10 March 2020 at 10:33 AM