The creation of a poet: Words in retrospect

Sunset: Artwork of the Mighty Artist


Afternoon growing grey and cold
As the enormous orange ball of fire starts sinking beyond the horizon
With a notebook in my hand
Beside Cornelia, I sat unmoving
Observing in amazement
The glorious complex artwork of the mighty artist
Displayed in the late distant sky

Dusk approaching dim and cloudy
As the ferociously red day star sinks powerlessly beyond the horizon
Writing on the notebook in my hand
Beside Cornelia, I sat capturing the moment
Watching in wonderment
The flaming crimson artwork of the mighty artist
Laid out in the late fiery sky

Evening falling dark and creepy
As the magnificent golden light shrunk and disappeared beyond the horizon
Radiating faded sun rays
Holding the notebook in my hand
Beside Cornelia, I sat calmly
Admiring the final scenes of the sunset-
The rosy tropical artwork of the mighty artist

Soon the moon will replace the sun
In the red cloudless sky.


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Stephanie Alois

Thank you Mr. Fitzpatrick for your feed back and motivation. I'm still writing.

Stephanie Alois

Thank you Mr. Jackson for the editing and removing the repeated phrase.

Philip Fitzpatrick

I enjoyed this poem Stephanie and agree with you that the repeat of the line is not necessary.

The word 'creepy' also seems out of place and maybe needs replacing with something else. Maybe a word like 'still' or 'mysterious'.

It will be good to see more of your poems on PNG Attitude.

Stephanie Alois

Thank you for publishing another one of my poem. I see that the phrase "writing on the notebook in my hand" is repeated. I wonder if its necessary for the phrase to be repeated or if its just an error.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been saved. Comments are moderated and will not appear until approved by the author. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear until the author has approved them.

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)