Covid-19 & muting the Angel of Death
What we ate thousands of years ago

Let Me Out

ThirstGIDEON KINDIWA

It’s still and dark
No sign of light
Nor sound
Except my heartbeat
And breathing

Weight on my shoulders
Rock pressin’ me down
Twice the force of gravity
Pullin’ my heels
Draggin’ my steps

Strings invisible ‘n tangled
Unable to see
Unable to feel
But I know for sure
I’m trapped here

Don’t keep me here
In this state of imprisonment
Where life is meaningless
Where existence shouldn’t exist
It’s unbearable

I need a way out
I’m barricaded inside
My soul’s stuck here
In this cold dark locker
Where dreams shatter

Let me out
Give me a glimpse of sky
Where I may see stars again
Where the rain can fall
Where the light is warm

Wash away my pain
Thaw out my heart
Fill my veins with life
Provide my mind with hope
For my dream is still young

Release and relieve
Take this weight from my head
Suppressin’ my growth
Far too long I’ve waited
And waited… and waited

For a small piercing gap
In these thick walls of confusion
So I can see the light
Like a tiny beam of hope
A slight hint of life

Let me breathe again
And taste a fresh Eden
Fill me with determination
I’ve struggled too long
With nothin’ but faith

Faith has kept me goin’
Like a last sip of water
In a dry desert of despair
Where tree can be spotted
No form of life to see

My throat is like bone
My heart is like stone
My hope almost gone
My faith badly worn
Amidst lifeless sand

Save me!
A single drop of rain
Rekindle my dry, dying life
So I’ll feel the life force
And hope once again

Send a dove o’er my head
To cast shade over my path
With faith as my strength
To walk the million miles
And overcome life’s desert

Comments

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Michael Dom

Hi Gideon, this is a very raw style of poem, which I think is called stream of consciousness writing, but it's also interesting that you've versified it.

It's written with a mix of diction that could be made more unusual. e.g. 'state of imprisonment' is fair but what about 'House of Cain', which makes a reference to a similar complex biblical story worth study. (I will charge you for this phrase if you use it.)

The use of two speech patterns does come a bit out of phase for modern (suppressin') and archaic ('o'er') slang.

There is a sense that the poem is about "finding myself" theme of youth, or a rediscovery of personal truths through trial and turmoil, a realization or painful resolution after some wrong doing.

I'd say the narrator is in his early twenties.

Repetition of the theme in each stanza is relentless, and builds an overpowered feeling. Perhaps too much.

There is also a sense that some better moral and ethical experience has been known before and that now some troubles and doubts have become a burden to bring about a questioning of faith.

The narrator appeals to a higher power, perhaps God, but more likely it is the shadow of self since it's always inside us with ourselves we struggle.

The mind is awakening, the heart recovering and the soul will have to balance the difference.

This is a good write but overall I'd suggest that if less was expressed more might actually be said.

Stephanie Alois

Let this drought come to end and make this desert flower again.
I enjoyed reading this.

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