TUMBY BAY - Did you know that Donald Trump was created in a top-secret biotech laboratory by the enemies of the USA with the goal of wreaking havoc on the nation?
Theorist Harland Dorrinson has conclusive evidence gleaned through an exhaustive search of secret government documents and is 100% certain that Trump was grown in a recombinant-DNA laboratory.
Trump certainly is creating havoc but I’m inclined to believe that the entire Trump family are modern day Frankenstein’s. No doubt that evidence will be forthcoming.
And, of course, we know it’s not just China’s doing, there’s the New World Order to consider too.
You don’t know about the New World Order?
They are a group of international elites who control all of the world’s governments, industries and media organisations. Their aim is to establish a global hegemony.
Planting an aberration like Trump in the US presidency seems like something they would definitely do. You know, cripple the government and then step in to take over.
I mean, there are some pretty heavy hitters in their ranks, like the European Union, the United Nations, the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund, not to mention Yale University’s Skull and Bones Society.
And they did organise most of the major wars of the last two centuries and are really good at manipulating the economies of all the world’s nations.
And, of course, we know they are the descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. You didn’t know that? Good grief, where have you been hiding?
Jesus and Mary Magdalene were lovers and their children and descendants were secretly hidden in Europe after their deaths. The prominent French architect, Pierre Plantard, was among many descended from the union.
The New World Order was also involved in the creation of Covid-19 of course. You didn’t know that either? Amazing!
Covid-19 was deliberately developed as a biological warfare weapon as part of a plan by global elites like Bill Gates and George Soros, in league with the big pharmaceutical companies, to force everyone in the world to be vaccinated so they could be fitted with tracking chips, which can be activated by 5G radio waves.
I can see that you are a bit sceptical about all this. I guess you are entitled to your view but can you actually prove that none of this is true? I mean, doesn’t your lack of countering evidence actually constitute evidence of a massive cover up?
And isn’t there contrary overwhelming evidence everywhere? Just look on the internet for instance. Social media is alive with evidence that it’s all true. Even the statistics support that view.
In the United Kingdom, for instance, 62% of respondents in a survey think that the Covid-19 creation theory is true.
21% agreed that coronavirus is caused by 5G and is a form of radiation poisoning transmitted through radio waves. 19% reckon the virus was invented to collapse the world economy for financial gain.
How can you not believe it with figures like that?
Did you know that Keith Jackson is an ASIO agent and everyone who comments on PNG Attitude goes into their files?
No, you didn’t. That’s okay then because I only just made that one up.
And I’m also kidding about all the other stuff.
I do find it fascinating though. I’ve been a fan of conspiracy theories ever since the CIA, in cahoots with Queen Liz, conspired to bring down the government of Gough Whitlam.
And it’s amazing how many of these theories have a grain of truth about them.
The internet and social media thrives on bullshit. And shopping and pornography and celebrity and all the other trash it produces of course. If none of that stuff existed it would be a really dull place to visit.
Just imagine if everything on the internet and social media was actually true. Wouldn’t that be a sorry state of affairs?
Oops, gotta go; a report has just popped up that Donald Trump has got conclusive proof that climate change was invented by the Chinese; something about having to build artificial islands in the South China Sea to combat it.
I’ll keep you posted.