The finding of Ok Tedi
The story of a highlands politician

Conspiracy theories are in bloom

An-old-conspiracy-theory-known-as-agenda-21PHILIP FITZPATRICK

TUMBY BAY - Did you know that Donald Trump was created in a top-secret biotech laboratory by the enemies of the USA with the goal of wreaking havoc on the nation?

Theorist Harland Dorrinson has conclusive evidence gleaned through an exhaustive search of secret government documents and is 100% certain that Trump was grown in a recombinant-DNA laboratory.

Trump certainly is creating havoc but I’m inclined to believe that the entire Trump family are modern day Frankenstein’s. No doubt that evidence will be forthcoming.

And, of course, we know it’s not just China’s doing, there’s the New World Order to consider too.

You don’t know about the New World Order?

They are a group of international elites who control all of the world’s governments, industries and media organisations. Their aim is to establish a global hegemony.

Planting an aberration like Trump in the US presidency seems like something they would definitely do. You know, cripple the government and then step in to take over.

I mean, there are some pretty heavy hitters in their ranks, like the European Union, the United Nations, the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund, not to mention Yale University’s Skull and Bones Society.

And they did organise most of the major wars of the last two centuries and are really good at manipulating the economies of all the world’s nations.

And, of course, we know they are the descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. You didn’t know that? Good grief, where have you been hiding?

Jesus and Mary Magdalene were lovers and their children and descendants were secretly hidden in Europe after their deaths. The prominent French architect, Pierre Plantard, was among many descended from the union.

The New World Order was also involved in the creation of Covid-19 of course. You didn’t know that either? Amazing!

Covid-19 was deliberately developed as a biological warfare weapon as part of a plan by global elites like Bill Gates and George Soros, in league with the big pharmaceutical companies, to force everyone in the world to be vaccinated so they could be fitted with tracking chips, which can be activated by 5G radio waves.

I can see that you are a bit sceptical about all this. I guess you are entitled to your view but can you actually prove that none of this is true? I mean, doesn’t your lack of countering evidence actually constitute evidence of a massive cover up?

And isn’t there contrary overwhelming evidence everywhere? Just look on the internet for instance. Social media is alive with evidence that it’s all true. Even the statistics support that view.

In the United Kingdom, for instance, 62% of respondents in a survey think that the Covid-19 creation theory is true. 

21% agreed that coronavirus is caused by 5G and is a form of radiation poisoning transmitted through radio waves. 19% reckon the virus was invented to collapse the world economy for financial gain.

How can you not believe it with figures like that?

Did you know that Keith Jackson is an ASIO agent and everyone who comments on PNG Attitude goes into their files?

No, you didn’t. That’s okay then because I only just made that one up.

And I’m also kidding about all the other stuff.

I do find it fascinating though. I’ve been a fan of conspiracy theories ever since the CIA, in cahoots with Queen Liz, conspired to bring down the government of Gough Whitlam.

And it’s amazing how many of these theories have a grain of truth about them.

The internet and social media thrives on bullshit. And shopping and pornography and celebrity and all the other trash it produces of course. If none of that stuff existed it would be a really dull place to visit.

Just imagine if everything on the internet and social media was actually true. Wouldn’t that be a sorry state of affairs?

Oops, gotta go; a report has just popped up that Donald Trump has got conclusive proof that climate change was invented by the Chinese; something about having to build artificial islands in the South China Sea to combat it.

I’ll keep you posted.

Comments

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Bernard Corden

The latest COVID-19 fake news is that suppliers have found a mask that can cover Michaelia Cash's mouth.

Roger Simpson

Interestingly, Tumby Bay is an anagram of 'buy my bat'.

Clearly, in the current COVID-19 scare, this is a blatant advertisement, orchestrated by MI6 and the CIA, to discredit the Wuhan wet market where the whole virus began with just such an animal.

Wuhan to Tumby Bay...this is very concerning and obviously is not a conspiracy theory. Even President Trump would get the point and he is, of course, an oracle and full of wisdom.

In passing, are you sure, Phil, that you don't live in Trumpy Bay?

Philip Kai Morre

Conspiracy theorists are increasing among fundamentalist Christians. Preachers such as Mark Finley, Doug Batchelor and others are preaching against the Catholic church, their theology based on false beliefs which are beyond reality.

How can we deal with such people who do more damage than good? I find it hard to comprehend educated people who believe in conspiracy theories.

Arthur Williams

Latest conspiracy doing the rounds in the Royal Papuan Yacht Club is that to get rid of corruption there will a move to oust Marape and a new 100% Christian democratic government will be formed by the all the current MPs supporting the new man except for a single Opposition MP, Namah, who will be Official Opposition Leader as well as Shadow Foreign, Shadow Treasurer, Shadow Mining, Shadow Health minister, Shadow hangman and any other shadowy things the Westminster System decrees.

If challenged he will go to court every day till the next election only because he has to wait for Oh'Neill's cases to be shepherded through the courts first.

Thomas Gavia

I remember in the 1980s and 1990s we used to have this big boy gums packets that had something like 'DID YOU KNOW?'

Imagine if you put these statements on those packets and sold almost a million of them. My word, people would be conversing on these topics rather than their favorite NRL teams in Australia... Good one Phil!

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