So I yearn for what’s missing from my soul,
The bond I do not have with a faceless man
Do I sometimes hear him call my name out loud
Or feel him near at night when we’re all asleep
But it’s father hunger playing tricks on me
This man within reach who cannot be reached
Complications separating us
An endless terrible river
That never stops flooding

Then I learned he’s never coming back
I stepped uncertain into fatherless years
Ignoring all children with their dad
Dismissing sickening waves of self-pity
Questioning my existence now and then
Wondering if I was normal in my head
Or was I heading for self-destruction
Some days I’d silently plead to be saved
Not giving up, despite life’s turmoil

But every fathers’ day, uncontrollable memories
Rush in scything, crushing all before
Pitilessly reminding of what is gone
Leaving me drowning in my tears
I never knew enough about you
I never spent enough precious time
I love you and miss you dearly
Your love was strong, your words were wise
Dear daddy, thanks for all the good things
Dear daddy, sorry if I did wrong

If I could write I love you on a rock,
it would be destroyed by a storm
If I could paint I love you on the wall,
mere drops of vinegar would dissolve
If I could write I love you in the sand,
it will wash away by splashing waves
if I could write I love you in my book,
it would be lost to all but me
If I could scream out loud I love you,
it would never be enough to hear

But dear daddy, don’t you worry
I’ve written ‘I love you, daddy’
perfectly across my broken heart
where it holds my love together
and nothing can destroy or spoil,
Every heartbeat a forever treasure