Getting Old
01 January 2023
R J HAUSER
I turned seventy-six in August
I sometimes wonder about the trajectory of getting old
which is less like a steady ascent to a bright summit
than it is the awkward stumbling down a slope
to a dark vale where visions pale and hopes plummet.
Not that keen on the encouragement you get from others
whose words are meant to comfort themselves, not you,
self-assurances they won’t be called on that soon to help
and their own last years will merge with a gentle twilight too.
Occasionally I am racked by a spasm of geriatric jealousy
of the vim and vibrant drive that makes the young ones tough,
but then in sober reflection traversing again the panoply of pain,
the strained yearnings of my own youth, happy to cry enough.
Perhaps my life is like a skipping stone flung upon the water,
big bounces at the beginning full of untamed energy and zest,
the slow slackening of momentum, the more constant buffets
of surface abrasions, the final staccato splashes, the sink to rest.
The secret is to get the balance straight. To look back with thankful
nostalgia and relive triumphs and pleasures with grateful delight,
to pass over the pain and not want to live all the good stuff again
but watch with the quiet peace milked from wisdom and insight.
More than that, to grasp again the central lesson of a full life,
that pride is a beast whose need for satisfaction ends in self-harm,
but the loss of ego in positive endeavour and sterling service
engenders the ultimate grace of an affirming and comforting balm.
"The exhaustion of old age is something people who are younger don't fully appreciate" - Tony Benn
Posted by: Bernard Corden | 03 January 2023 at 12:54 PM
I'm enjoying the poems by RJ Hauser. I will be writing more now.
Posted by: Dominica Are | 02 January 2023 at 06:36 AM
I dunno Richard.
I find getting up in the morning akin to rising from the dead or trying to crank up an ancient Austin A40.
It takes a while to get moving.
And the erstwhile wisdom I've accumulated doesn't sit peacefully either, it simply makes me mad at the state of the world.
I'm a fan of Welsh poet and fellow Celt, Dylan Thomas.
"Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
I went back and reread your poem, Urban Hunter, that Keith featured in an article in April 2021 about your early morning foraging expeditions and enjoyed it again. That's three good ones. More to come I hear.
Posted by: Philip Fitzpatrick | 01 January 2023 at 03:14 PM