The anticipation of wanting to see you so badly would fill me with excitement and apprehension, because deep down I know I would be seeing the one person who understood me like no other.

If heaven had visiting hours, I would set foot through the golden gates of heaven, and, with a big smile on your face, you would be waiting patiently for me.

You would be my beautiful angel in the sky, standing there looking as beautiful as ever with your gorgeous smile lighting up the space around you.

I would run into your arms crying and whispering, “I have missed so very much, everything is not the same and it has not been”. Tears of love and loss would pour down my face because of all the pain I have been through in not seeing you again.

I would treasure every moment spent with you during those heavenly visiting hours. I would tell you about everything that has happened so far, but I’m sure that you would already know what has happened, yet I’d tell you anyway.

If heaven had visiting hours, I would not miss a day of visiting because I would want to tell you about everything that has happened in your absence.

I would tell you how I would meet someone new, gain new experiences each day and gradually learn to accept that you are no longer here to be my safe space, the only person who knew me and understood me well.  

Ever since you left to be with the beautiful angels in the beautiful sky, I only wish that heaven had visiting hours so I would always be there to see you again and again.

I would get to spend the whole day with you, telling of every little thing I did and doing it would remind me of you.

We would spend time reminiscing about our childhood and, with the familiar sound of your laughter, I would be at peace. How I have missed the sound of your voice and laughter.

And at that very moment, I would realise that love goes beyond all boundaries, even the boundaries of life and death.

If heaven had visiting hours, I would ask you about your new home and you would tell me about it, about the new friends you have made and how beautiful it is, about how you spend your days in pure love and happiness.

I would then and will now feel a sense of comfort knowing that you are finally at peace.

I would want to tell you about the emptiness that has been with me ever since you left and the moments when the weight of your absence felt too heavy to bear, to a point where everything became a blur and that all I could feel was numbness.

You would listen to me like you always do, your eyes filled with understanding and affection, and I would feel the strength of your love lifting me.

I would want to hold onto every moment, every laugh, every hug, knowing that soon I would have to say goodbye again, but you would remind me, like you always do, that it is a promise that one day we will all be together again and until then I will live my life in a way that will cherish the love that we shared.

To push and strive for the life that you would have wanted me to have, the one we envisioned together.

If heaven had visiting hours, I would be the first one there, waiting in line, ready to embrace you and to see you, my beautiful angel, and to see a love that knows no bounds. For in my heart, I would carry you with me, always and forever.

If only heaven had visiting hours.